Coleman

While in my healing process of "officially" being dumped with no hopes of getting back together; still friends. [Updated: 08/07/05-That opening sentence isn't all together right...stay tuned]I decided to keep myself busy so as to ease the pain. I began the day by going over to the mail box. Leaning over a balcony was this older blue-black man with severe razor bumps on his face. Asked if I could give him a lift to the bank. Initially thought hell no, than he was like he'd pay for my time. I still didn't do it and went about my way. While running errands around town I’d see this guy twice or something; be it he getting off a bus having a confused look. Or him walking along the side of the road like "fuck it...it is what it is". I know that attitude all too well and I could spot it on other people. Not only that...that long lonely walk I've done before (4 miles one way). When I saw him as I was driving we made eye contact. As I passed I looked through the rear view and saw him looking back as if to say,” wasn’t that the guy who couldn't give me a lift?”

I ended up making a u-turn and flagging him down. He was like,” thank you, man...I’ve been walking not knowing where the bus stop was...” Turns out dude was from Louisiana, his accent was thick. He'd go on to say that after his efforts to find his bank, he needed to go back to the bank with more paperwork to open an account. He's new to the area trying to get on his feet; again I could relate. He was a tall guy, could tell he's seen alot. Looked as if he was moving into his 50's who still does manual labor is what I got from him. Told me his name was Coleman and I said the names Victor. Firm handshake and we kept it moving. I with my own concerns must've been made obvious cause he would start conversations where I would just come in with an appropriate interjection. He was saying how it's hard to get a house out here (Houston, TX); I says,” It takes money to make money", the more positive outlook to his in my opinion. I brought him back to the apartments to get his paperwork and than back to the bank.

He payed me what he could and again, the firm handshake. Guess where i'm going with this is that, it's good to be able to help someone, especially when you know where they're coming from. But I don't ever want to return to again.


Uncle

The Enemy

I know and acknowledge the enemy. The enemy wants to me to feel anger, feel rage and resentment. My fight is with him, not her. The enemy is what had me up in the middle of the night, feeling nauseous, seeing lies of what she thinks of me. The enemy wants me to resent her life. No…she deserves to be happy, I deserve to be happy. Our lives are moving in the directions they need to be, all the while continuing to be each others support systems. Sleep…sleep with peace knowing “your” woman is making her way towards you. Don’t make her the top priority but don’t necessarily rule it out either. Just keep God first, he’s preparing everything as he sees fit for the better, just as the enemy is constantly nagging me with deceptions of her grandeur.
Stay strong, be the happy soul most see me as…I’m a funny dude, that’s what I do. I make people smile, make them feel good. My reward is them wanting more of that. They reciprocate through what actions best fits them. That to me is what defines a friend. I love my friends, they love me, and she loves me. The enemy ought to know that and leave me alone. My fight with the enemy is whenever I feel my joy being tainted by his lies. I’ll continue to put the enemy on blast for the snake bastard he is.

Uncle

The Fan: A Lost Art

Seems like everybody wants to rap all the while they're never really a fan of the music, the culture for that matter. I wonder if the people who buy cd's are true fans of the artist(s)? The idea of just being a fan and appreciating what someone does is passé. Because of technology and access...folks actually become rappers themselves. What defines a rapper seems to be subjective. Cause if I tell it...someone else will say otherwise. But I will say that with the flux of groups, and mixtapes and 8-Mile. Everybody and their auntie is spittin'THAT HOT SHIT...THAT HOT 16

I like to check out everybodies stuff, see what this artist has to say. I've been involved with this music for a long time and never stopped considering myself a "student" of it. Taking a step back and just listening is not a bad thing...don't size it up as,"oh...i could do better" or "i don't like how such and such sequenced their track"...no, try to maintain an innocence if you will about it. Stop trying to be that 100th nigga on the stage with a mic mumbling to the 35 people in the audience.

Thank you,

Uncle